I have a friend named Tom. He is my pen pal. We met a couple of years ago, and literally the next week, he was carted off to prison. Our mutual friends have kept contact with him and I made the decision to have correspondence with him while he serves out his sentence.
Prison is a horrible place. I've read quite a bit about it, and watched documentaries and the like. Seriously, it's probably one of the most soul-crushing institutions on the planet. You are forced onto a schedule, robbed of individualism and self-expression, stripped of personal possessions, made to eat sub-par food, sleep in discomfort, and plagued with torturous boredom. And while some much needed care, counseling and rehabilitation is available for prisoners, there is very little that is positive about the experience. Most of the time.
Tom's experience sounds surprisingly positive compared to all that I've read. He's lost weight, he is in therapy (and it's helping him tremendously), he has better nutrition, he is exercising, and he's dry. In his letters he describes a tragically boring day and a very regular schedule, but he has managed to stay positive and deal well with his sentence.
I write to him because I have learned how lonely incarceration can be. If there is one thing I took away from all my reading it's that letters from outside can be a tremendous help to the prisoner. Letters help to focus prisoners on something outside the walls and keep them from getting bogged down by the loneliness and monotony of their incarceration.
The cruelty of incarceration really struck a chord with me. After my research, I wanted to reach out and help someone, but the thought of sending letters to a complete stranger was slightly unnerving to me. Then I thought of Tom, a man I barely knew, and with whom I have many mutual friends. I asked them about him when they'd receive letters about how he was doing and got fairly regular reports on his status. Finally, I decided I would just start asking him myself! I got his address from friends and sent him a letter.
He was very happy to receive it and we've been corresponding since October! It's been great to get to know him through his letters, and I'm very happy to know that he enjoys talking to me too.
I guess the point of this post is to encourage anyone reading it to have compassion for those we have locked away in prisons. And also to encourage writing to those people during their stay there. Your letters will be a great source of relief for them.
We punish criminals because what they do makes us angry. So angry that we take everything away from them and keep them in a pen under the watchful eyes of authoritarian men and women with guns. Victims of crime usually push for the longest sentence possible as a means of assuaging their anger toward the person who wronged them. And they are completely justified in doing so. Far be it from me to condemn the anger of any victim of crime. But I have known prisoners, and I know the hardships of being locked up.
Tom isn't the first prisoner I've known. I knew another guy, Dan, who had a horrible time in jail. He received no help for his emotional problems and minimal rehabilitation. He took his own life a couple of years after his release. His punishment turned out to be death, and all he did was steal a car and a credit card and go on an underaged binge.
I firmly believe that people need to be treated with compassion. No matter how angry they make us, we need to treat people fairly. Volatile behavior is a symptom of a bigger problem. Crime is a symptom of a broken legal/political system, and people moved to crime have very real reasons for committing them. Just as it is right for the victim to be angry, it is right for the criminal to be met with compassion.
So many crimes are the result of people being unable to care for themselves. We punish the poor, the homeless, the hungry, the mentally ill, the sick, and the elderly for being victims of circumstance. We punish the violent because they hurt us and make us uncomfortable. And they are locked away because it is more convenient for us (as a culture) to let them rot in a cell than to actually take the steps needed to solve their problems. I'm not an idealist that believes that everyone can be rehabilitated, but I do believe that those who can't be rehabilitated are fewer in truth than statistics say.
I hope that humans as a civilization will find more effective ways to deal with criminals in the future. Ways that champion compassion and love instead of punishment and hate. And I hope my friend Tom comes out okay. And in the interim, I'll keep sending him letters.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Male Nesting
The phenomenon of male nesting is very interesting. Especially when you live with men who like changing rooms around every few months. I'm a little different, I tend to assess the situation for a long time, put stuff the way I like it, and keep it there. Forever. It's the Bull in me. But the boys have different tendencies. One, aquarius, likes to change EVERYTHING as often as it strikes him, maybe every 3 months. The other keeps changing things around as he obtains additional things to fill out his vision of what his room should be. They did that thing where you buy stuff around Christmas. What a concept... I am now in rooms with furnishings, lamps, rugs and other things that weren't there before. I too received a rug. It's purple and gold. Very awesome. : )
My room will be going through some major changes soon too. I'm getting a bed! Yes! A bed! At long last I will have a designated place to sleep, with a real mattress! I'll be glad to stop sleeping in my sleeping bag on my couch in my room. It was nice, but I'm over it. Now I can sleep in my room WITH other people! I don't have to choose between my cat and my bed buddies! Yay bed! It's another loft, I loved my last one. This one is from IKEA, I might end up bracketing it to the wall in case of earthquake. *cough*
My room will be going through some major changes soon too. I'm getting a bed! Yes! A bed! At long last I will have a designated place to sleep, with a real mattress! I'll be glad to stop sleeping in my sleeping bag on my couch in my room. It was nice, but I'm over it. Now I can sleep in my room WITH other people! I don't have to choose between my cat and my bed buddies! Yay bed! It's another loft, I loved my last one. This one is from IKEA, I might end up bracketing it to the wall in case of earthquake. *cough*
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Off To An Awesome Start!
So, I thought I wouldn't have much design to report until a couple weeks from now, but then I found THIS! Alt.kilt has made an awesome red kilt for Atlas the Mighty in Circus Bacchus with my logo on it! Best ever!
New Years has started out completely wrong in the diet department. However, having eaten nothing but junkfood all day, I am satisfied that all need for pizza and potato chips has left me. I look forward to all the pretty fruits in my fridge. I have 2 kinds of mangos, a prickly pear and 3 different kinds of apples and pears! Oh! And persimmons!
Sea of Dreams was tons of fun! I had a really great time. The venue was HUGE! I'd love to go to an event there again. Very well laid out and easy to navigate, with plenty of room. Room for 4 stages, 2 chill areas, a vendor village and galleries! They even had a few food trucks outside. Once again, Mexican food saved my life. And there was literally a bar in every area to keep you from getting thirsty.
It was my 4th time seeing Gogol Bordello live and they were hugely impressive as always. If you have never seen them live, do it. They put on one of the best, most energetic shows I have ever seen. They are consistently awesome.
Shpongle was Shpongle, always a joy. I had seen that particular set before and it was pretty cool. They did the Quixotic Masquerade show this time. It has just been too hard to gain enough room to really dance at all of their shows! Tragic, but I continue to dream of larger dance floors!
And then there was The Glitch Mob. Sorry everyone, but I have rarely been so underwhelmed. I really appreciate their energy and their showmanship was awesome! It's just that I really hated their music. It was terrible. The sound was abrasive, too much contrast between the trebles and the bass, and absolutely nothing in the middle to connect them. It sounded like they should have been making beats for hip-hop, not putting on their own act. But I digress, I'm an electronica snob, so please feel free to judge for yourself. I see potential here, the reggae style beats and some of the rhythmic structure was good, but the musicality was under par. Feel free to have a look at them though, great performers.
Trentemoler was pretty cool, but I was too busy watching another DJ to pay him much attention. All the headliners were great, but the highlight of my night was Dex Stakker, who was spinning some sick, dirty breakbeat trance until midnight. He even shared my distain for 2012 declaring, "Fuck 2012!" as midnight approached. Made my night. : ) He rocked my whole world for a good 90 minutes. So awesome! I waited until the end of his set and told him how impressed I was and he gave me a CD of his vocal mix (and it ROCKS). Totally want to see more of him this year.
Also, there was a gallery of artworks, a display of different kinds of kinetic/interactive installations involving lots of lights and projectors, and live artists working on paintings! One had a figure model sign-up sheet. Hopefully I'll be hearing back. : )
Last night, I had a dream that I was living in an apartment complex that might have been Arcosanti in my dreamscape. The handyman was completely unreliable due to alcohol addiction and I covertly stole his tools to do the work myself, replacing them when I had finished. I also needed to pick locks to get some of the work done and I remember gaining some practice locks and some picks to play with before I woke up. Interesting insights for a new year. Apparently I have all the tools, I just need to figure out how to use them. Sounds about right.
New Years has started out completely wrong in the diet department. However, having eaten nothing but junkfood all day, I am satisfied that all need for pizza and potato chips has left me. I look forward to all the pretty fruits in my fridge. I have 2 kinds of mangos, a prickly pear and 3 different kinds of apples and pears! Oh! And persimmons!
Sea of Dreams was tons of fun! I had a really great time. The venue was HUGE! I'd love to go to an event there again. Very well laid out and easy to navigate, with plenty of room. Room for 4 stages, 2 chill areas, a vendor village and galleries! They even had a few food trucks outside. Once again, Mexican food saved my life. And there was literally a bar in every area to keep you from getting thirsty.
It was my 4th time seeing Gogol Bordello live and they were hugely impressive as always. If you have never seen them live, do it. They put on one of the best, most energetic shows I have ever seen. They are consistently awesome.
Shpongle was Shpongle, always a joy. I had seen that particular set before and it was pretty cool. They did the Quixotic Masquerade show this time. It has just been too hard to gain enough room to really dance at all of their shows! Tragic, but I continue to dream of larger dance floors!
And then there was The Glitch Mob. Sorry everyone, but I have rarely been so underwhelmed. I really appreciate their energy and their showmanship was awesome! It's just that I really hated their music. It was terrible. The sound was abrasive, too much contrast between the trebles and the bass, and absolutely nothing in the middle to connect them. It sounded like they should have been making beats for hip-hop, not putting on their own act. But I digress, I'm an electronica snob, so please feel free to judge for yourself. I see potential here, the reggae style beats and some of the rhythmic structure was good, but the musicality was under par. Feel free to have a look at them though, great performers.
Trentemoler was pretty cool, but I was too busy watching another DJ to pay him much attention. All the headliners were great, but the highlight of my night was Dex Stakker, who was spinning some sick, dirty breakbeat trance until midnight. He even shared my distain for 2012 declaring, "Fuck 2012!" as midnight approached. Made my night. : ) He rocked my whole world for a good 90 minutes. So awesome! I waited until the end of his set and told him how impressed I was and he gave me a CD of his vocal mix (and it ROCKS). Totally want to see more of him this year.
Also, there was a gallery of artworks, a display of different kinds of kinetic/interactive installations involving lots of lights and projectors, and live artists working on paintings! One had a figure model sign-up sheet. Hopefully I'll be hearing back. : )
Also, I have to mention the awesome circus performance by CirQularius and the fabulous samba interludes by Samba Drop. Great fun and great acts!
Last night, I had a dream that I was living in an apartment complex that might have been Arcosanti in my dreamscape. The handyman was completely unreliable due to alcohol addiction and I covertly stole his tools to do the work myself, replacing them when I had finished. I also needed to pick locks to get some of the work done and I remember gaining some practice locks and some picks to play with before I woke up. Interesting insights for a new year. Apparently I have all the tools, I just need to figure out how to use them. Sounds about right.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Goodbye 2012
2012 was full of self realization, transformation, and the start of a deep and long overdue healing process.
Fuck 2012.
No. It wasn't fun. All that stuff sounds really positive when it isn't happening to YOU. "How lovely!", you might think. "You must feel so light and free!", you conclude. "How wonderful it must be to go through such a process of rebirth!", you surmise.
Not in the slightest.
Healing processes are painful and time consuming, once the real healing begins. The wounds itch and twinge, invoking the memories of their infliction and depth. You remember the pain, the shock, the panic, how you bled. Proverbially, of course dear reader, have no fear.
So, fuck you 2012. I'm not sorry to see you go. You told me everything I didn't want to hear, and made it so I can't forget any of it anymore. Stripped me of my defense mechanisms so I could begin the real work of healing. Fuck. You. I cannot thank you enough, you've given me the greatest gift. And I hope 2013 will be a shot of morphine to counter the roaring of a system spurred into action after the shock of injury.
2012 redefined the notion of "tough love" the way my car accident in 2010 redefined the word "impact". And it was about as much fun. 2012, you will always hold a special place in my heart, and if I ever see your like again, it will be too soon. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
And now, on to much bigger and better things! Plans for the evening:
Fuck 2012.
No. It wasn't fun. All that stuff sounds really positive when it isn't happening to YOU. "How lovely!", you might think. "You must feel so light and free!", you conclude. "How wonderful it must be to go through such a process of rebirth!", you surmise.
Not in the slightest.
Healing processes are painful and time consuming, once the real healing begins. The wounds itch and twinge, invoking the memories of their infliction and depth. You remember the pain, the shock, the panic, how you bled. Proverbially, of course dear reader, have no fear.
So, fuck you 2012. I'm not sorry to see you go. You told me everything I didn't want to hear, and made it so I can't forget any of it anymore. Stripped me of my defense mechanisms so I could begin the real work of healing. Fuck. You. I cannot thank you enough, you've given me the greatest gift. And I hope 2013 will be a shot of morphine to counter the roaring of a system spurred into action after the shock of injury.
2012 redefined the notion of "tough love" the way my car accident in 2010 redefined the word "impact". And it was about as much fun. 2012, you will always hold a special place in my heart, and if I ever see your like again, it will be too soon. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
And now, on to much bigger and better things! Plans for the evening:
Also, I've decided to forgo big new years resolutions this year in favor of just improving everything by 1 degree, a little at a time. I will celebrate the little victories and leave the lofty goals for those full enough of hot air to reach them. out Out OUT!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Stuff I Like
I like good food.
I like bending rules.
I like waking up laughing.
I like my cat.
I like all cats.
I like running my fingers over super soft things.
I like hot showers.
I like space foam mattress covers.
I like the colored glass.
I like smelling things. Everything.
I like goat cheese.
I like using music to explore my emotions.
I like tragically beautiful artwork.
I like minor keys.
I like feeling overcome with emotion.
I like touching your face.
I like dancing until I can't stand up anymore.
I like long walks.
I like getting lost in the woods.
I like listening to the crickets at night.
I like fire.
I like cuddling.
I like climbing trees.
I like feeling prepared.
I like being on time.
I like making music.
I like orange, blue and grey together.
I like black, grey and maroon together.
I like light grey, dark purple and olive drab together.
I like exhaustive sex.
I like the forests in Oregon.
I like Autumn.
I like having 4 distinct seasons.
I like sitting in the sun.
I like chocolate and tea.
I like yoga.
I like feeling the presence of things I can't see.
I like being alone.
I like feeling at one with the universe.
I like poetry.
I like stingy, not thuddy.
I like trying new things.
I like the wind.
I like the big slide at the county fair.
I like plants.
I like growing things.
I like cartoons.
I like making things with my hands.
I like doing things myself.
I like making people smile.
I like seeing things that you don't show everybody, like that look on your face after you tell me something personal.
I like being praised for my brilliance.
I like improving my skills.
I like being healthy.
I like sunsets.
I like bending rules.
I like waking up laughing.
I like my cat.
I like all cats.
I like running my fingers over super soft things.
I like hot showers.
I like space foam mattress covers.
I like the colored glass.
I like smelling things. Everything.
I like goat cheese.
I like using music to explore my emotions.
I like tragically beautiful artwork.
I like minor keys.
I like feeling overcome with emotion.
I like touching your face.
I like dancing until I can't stand up anymore.
I like long walks.
I like getting lost in the woods.
I like listening to the crickets at night.
I like fire.
I like cuddling.
I like climbing trees.
I like feeling prepared.
I like being on time.
I like making music.
I like orange, blue and grey together.
I like black, grey and maroon together.
I like light grey, dark purple and olive drab together.
I like exhaustive sex.
I like the forests in Oregon.
I like Autumn.
I like having 4 distinct seasons.
I like sitting in the sun.
I like chocolate and tea.
I like yoga.
I like feeling the presence of things I can't see.
I like being alone.
I like feeling at one with the universe.
I like poetry.
I like stingy, not thuddy.
I like trying new things.
I like the wind.
I like the big slide at the county fair.
I like plants.
I like growing things.
I like cartoons.
I like making things with my hands.
I like doing things myself.
I like making people smile.
I like seeing things that you don't show everybody, like that look on your face after you tell me something personal.
I like being praised for my brilliance.
I like improving my skills.
I like being healthy.
I like sunsets.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
The subject is illusive...
I'm not sure what I'm doing on this blog, but I feel like my best writing happens when I'm thinking about positive things. It's hard to do. There is a lot going on that is NOT right in myself, and even more that is NOT right in the world. It's easy to get bogged down by all that is wrong with the world. But there are news websites to indulge that, let's try to find something positive in this stormy sea of house fires, school shootings, fraud, robberies and rampant destructive capitalism...
Here's something.
I almost cried during Christmas dinner. But it's not what you think! I consider myself to be blessed in a way. (All positive blogs should start this way.) I have a great family. My family is my lighthouse in dark times. I know if I ever falter, my family will be there to right me. If I fall, they'll catch me. If I fail, they'll be there to support me. Good times and bad times, my family has been there to sustain me. I am lucky.
Most Xmases, I get together with my family. We open presents, have dinner, share stories, just be together. It's nice. We don't fight, we have very little drama, and the drama that presents itself usually happens when I am far away and the holidays are over. That whole scene where the entire family has a meltdown during Christmas dinner and angry members storm out into the snow in a huff is fiction for me. No one slams down their silverware in the middle of turkey and yells, no one gets cornered in the kitchen and lectured, no one is made to cry over their eggnog, none of that.
My holidays are filled with kind words and love. Like I said, I'm lucky.
I'm lucky because I have a support system as long as I have ties to my kin. My family is always there when I'm having a hard time. If I need help, they're there to assist me. If I need to talk, they're there to listen. If I'm confused, they're there to help me make sense of it all. If I'm sad, they cheer me up. If I'm angry, they calm me down.
That's not to say we don't have our differences by any means. I'm very different than most of the members of my family. I'm not a christian, I'm not a republican, I'm not straight, I'm not monogamous, and I'm not "Lawful-Good" by any stretch of the imagination. "But where there's love, dear, those are the ties that bind." And that's really the point of it all. I know that whatever happens, there will always be love. And that's a good thing to know.
Here's something.
I almost cried during Christmas dinner. But it's not what you think! I consider myself to be blessed in a way. (All positive blogs should start this way.) I have a great family. My family is my lighthouse in dark times. I know if I ever falter, my family will be there to right me. If I fall, they'll catch me. If I fail, they'll be there to support me. Good times and bad times, my family has been there to sustain me. I am lucky.
Most Xmases, I get together with my family. We open presents, have dinner, share stories, just be together. It's nice. We don't fight, we have very little drama, and the drama that presents itself usually happens when I am far away and the holidays are over. That whole scene where the entire family has a meltdown during Christmas dinner and angry members storm out into the snow in a huff is fiction for me. No one slams down their silverware in the middle of turkey and yells, no one gets cornered in the kitchen and lectured, no one is made to cry over their eggnog, none of that.
My holidays are filled with kind words and love. Like I said, I'm lucky.
I'm lucky because I have a support system as long as I have ties to my kin. My family is always there when I'm having a hard time. If I need help, they're there to assist me. If I need to talk, they're there to listen. If I'm confused, they're there to help me make sense of it all. If I'm sad, they cheer me up. If I'm angry, they calm me down.
That's not to say we don't have our differences by any means. I'm very different than most of the members of my family. I'm not a christian, I'm not a republican, I'm not straight, I'm not monogamous, and I'm not "Lawful-Good" by any stretch of the imagination. "But where there's love, dear, those are the ties that bind." And that's really the point of it all. I know that whatever happens, there will always be love. And that's a good thing to know.
Monday, December 24, 2012
The wrong things WERE important...
And now it's nearly a year later.
I've always been a terrible blogger, but if you read this, you know that already.
So, what's changed...
I ended up in San Francisco. I'm living with the first boyfriend I've had since High School and another guy who's turned out to be an awesome friend. I have 2 other women I'm dating as well. I had a job at Minted as a Print Quality Specialist. But it was only a seasonal contract. I'm unemployed and trying to hang onto my sanity while looking for work and not being able to do much else due to financial constraints.
That's the abridged version of the story.
This blog is going to be taking a new direction. I'm not sure where yet.
There is so much going on in my life that has absolutely nothing to do with art or design that I think this blog will have to be... Just more.
I tried really hard to keep this blog professional, but I think the time for that is over. What good is a symphony if it's only made of violins?
So on to the wonderful timbre of the other myriad instruments.
Stay tuned.
I've always been a terrible blogger, but if you read this, you know that already.
So, what's changed...
I ended up in San Francisco. I'm living with the first boyfriend I've had since High School and another guy who's turned out to be an awesome friend. I have 2 other women I'm dating as well. I had a job at Minted as a Print Quality Specialist. But it was only a seasonal contract. I'm unemployed and trying to hang onto my sanity while looking for work and not being able to do much else due to financial constraints.
That's the abridged version of the story.
This blog is going to be taking a new direction. I'm not sure where yet.
There is so much going on in my life that has absolutely nothing to do with art or design that I think this blog will have to be... Just more.
I tried really hard to keep this blog professional, but I think the time for that is over. What good is a symphony if it's only made of violins?
So on to the wonderful timbre of the other myriad instruments.
Stay tuned.
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