Sunday, December 5, 2010


I was in a car accident on the 29th. It was snowing and we hit a particularly treacherous curve in the road that was covered in slick snow. The road kept curving, but the car didn't and my girlfriend and I ended up crashing into a telephone pole at somewhere between 35 and 40 mph. There was a crunch, a sensation of hardness that I'd never felt before in my life, and puff of black smoke filled the cab. Laura fled the car, I managed my seat-belt and discovered my car door was stuck. She rushed around the other side of the car to help me but I used my adrenaline to climb over the seats and out her door. Then the pain hit me. My shoulders and neck felt like they'd been sledge hammered and my waste felt cold in a few places. I chalked it up to ice until later when I found out that my seat-belt had given me two burns on my iliac crests (better burned than comatose!).

After getting snowed on for a couple minutes, the paramedics arrived and put us in neck braces, then an anbulence took us to the hospital to be checked out. Laura came away with a bloody nose and a mild case of whiplash. My injuries were worse.

At the hospital, they got me out of my jacket and sweater and cut my shirt off. Then they put me in a gown and took my vitals and started me on an I.V. for pain killers which I initially refused. As the evening went on, they gave me a CAT scan and took some blood. I finally accepted morphine, and found it to be absolutely no fun, albeit effective. Then they pumped me full of anti nausea meds and atavan for the MRI. That was no fun either, even the anti anxiety meds didn't help, and they wore off in the middle of the scan. They found a bump on my thyroid. I have to get that checked out now.

The final diagnosis was that I have damage to my ligaments on C5 and C6 in my neck and need to remain in a neck brace until the neurologist says I can take it off without fear of paralysis.

The last week has been a percoset "soma holiday" and I've gotten a lot of knitting done. I see the neurologist on Wednesday, and hope to get my brace off. I am not allowed to lift anything, take the brace off, move my head, or much of anything. They said I could return to work on the 13th, but I'm going to play it by ear.

The injection for my trigger finger went well and it's feeling a lot better now. I almost punched the Doc out when the shot was delivered; it hurt like a mother...

Here are my thoughts on morphine. It sucks! Everyone I've ever talked to and read about opiate based drugs praises "the rush" and says it's the greatest thing in the world. In Trainspotting they say "Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near it." My ruling, horse-shit. They are so incredibly wrong. The nurse described "the rush" as "a blizzard in my brain" which is surprisingly accurate. It isn't pleasurable in the least, and neither is the high afterward. The rush gives you static, like a snowy TV screen, then it's like you're normal, but with a balloon for a head with 3D glasses on. Nothing special, nothing especially pleasurable, just normal-plus. I'd like to take the opportunity to judge opium enthusiasts as retarded and in need of better drugs. Opiates are crap. At least I know I'll never die a heroin addict!

Today I get to begin the process of packing my house for others to move. I can't lift anything, so I get to rely on the goodness of my circus friends to move and place my things in my new lodgings. And since I tend to micromanage my moving, this is going to take a lot out of me. But I am touched by the amount of people that volunteered to help right away. Thanks, everyone. It means a lot to me. And I promise, the food and drink I give you in return will be excellent.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you everyone who helped me with moving and packing today! I deeply appreciate it!