Saturday, April 27, 2013

Adult Decisions

This last 12 months has been full of adult decisions. Not fun adult decisions, not sexy adult decisions, but difficult adult decisions. I am satisfied with the decisions I've made, and I am satisfied that they have put me in a good place in life. I just wish that I was having more fun making them, and that the results were less mundane.

My decision to come to California was a good one. If I could go back, I would change how and when I did it, but it has turned out alright in the end. Finding a job was hard, but waiting for the right one turned out to be the best choice I could have made.

Speaking of jobs, I now work at Happy High Herbs! It's an herb shop that sells herbs to make you happy, healthy, and horny! That's actually in the orientation book, I think I'm among friends there. ; ) Everyone I work with is super nice. And this job has opened my eyes to a huge new world of knowledge and experience. I've finally found a treatment for my cramps that works, I've found effective treatment for my depression and anxiety, and I've even found some herbs that make me feel super "well"! The greatest thing about this job is that I get to help people. I get to introduce people to a wonderful new world of plant healing. It's wonderful!

I've been making some great new friends in the past few months and I'm very happy with how things have been expanding for me socially.

Finances are finally starting to even out, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Nearly there. I'll finally feel secure in September when Academy of Arts University schedules me in officially for modeling. Then I can get rid of my debt. Once that's gone, life will be awesome!

So yay being an adult and making shit work for me!

Now if only making shit work for me was as fun as all that. It is satisfying, but in a different way than doing my own thing with little regard for the consequences is satisfying. I liked the other pathway better, but this one is more sustainable in the longterm.

I'm almost 31. Weird. My Saturn Return is over, and I'm at the beginning of the next phase of my life. I like were it's going so far.

On the art front, I hope to get lots done before September. By then, I'd really like to have enough material to have a show somewhere. Here's hoping! It's taking lots of time. But there's a very good reason for that. I have chosen to develop a style, finally, at long last. While all my classmates were busy doing that in college, I was busy playing catch-up with color and design. So I never took the time to figure out how I really operate artistically. Now, I'm doing the work. Figuring it out, throwing all of my instruction out the window to reinvent my artistic self. It feels so good! And I love that I have taken a chance to tie it back to the sacred.

Everything in my life seems to be waking up that way. It feels really good. I feel like I've been missing out on a lot by not paying attention to the world through that lens.

So being an adult isn't so bad after all. Here's hoping I'll figure out a way to make it stellar before time marches too far past me. : )