Why Night-Chirpers?

Once upon a time, I went up to Arcosanti, AZ with Flam Chen. I was helping with fire safety during a performance that weekend and we got to spend a few days chillin' in the incredible venue and camping at night. Laying there in my tent one of those nights, I was fascinated by all of the life around me in the desert. During the day, the heat and the cicadas drowned out all but the loudest bird calls. Human hustle and bustle distracted me from the outside world. But at night, the cicadas slept, the humans went indoors, and there were noises all around me! I heard crickets, some night birds, frogs, nameless insects, scampering mice, and the occasional bat squeak. I marveled at the symphony of sound around me. The symphony of the night-chirpers.

That night I discovered that there were beings that chirped during the day, and beings that chirped at night. From that mystery and magic, I was inspired to create this blog. I didn't know what it was for, but now I have a few ideas.

Sometimes going back to the beginning means one has come full circle. I am back in southern Arizona now. I fled the concrete jungles of California and came back to the only place that has ever felt like home. I left for a lot of reasons (health, finances, sanity, gallons of negativity and stress), and you don't want to read about any of them. That's okay. I don't need to write about them here. They were good reasons, and I'm solid in that.

So where is this headed? Why revive a tired, old blog that never had a point? The answer is focus. In my attempts to become a "real artist" who makes money at their work, I failed. I had no focus for the work. The work was not mine. I fell into the dead end of retail after giving up on art because I had no focus. I feel as though I have lived most of my life without focus. But when you live long enough, you eventually find focus, often by accident, always for a reason.

I experienced a calling. "I am a healer." And it gave me focus.

I first heard my calling back in 2004. I tried going to school for nursing, but I got diverted by art. Then I went to school to become an illustrator, but I got diverted by graphic design. Then I tried being a designer, but I got diverted to retail. ("It's a living!") Finally, my health took a dive, and I had to quit everything. But that's the funny thing about having a calling. Diversions end badly. My hands aren't capable of designing on a computer anymore, and my feet aren't capable of standing in a shop selling products, stocking shelves, and herding customers. I am not a graphic artist, I am not a retail slave. I AM A HEALER.

I am a healer. Not just a healer, but a wounded healer. In other cultures, they use the word "shaman" to describe people like me. I like "healer". It feels a lot less demanding and loaded than "shaman". So now I am back in school, both literally and figuratively. Literally, I am going back to college to earn a Master's degree in dietetics so that I can work with getting other diabetics right with their food and using food as a primary form of treatment with medications. And I am learning how to walk my talk, healing myself, and learning to accept my limitations as well as my strengths.

Someday in the nearish future, I will have another blog to discuss nutrition and debunk the mountains of bullshit surrounding good nutrition. For now, I have this blog. Here I'll discuss art, spirituality, herbalism, and whatever other awesome things are going on in my life. I want to keep it positive. Negativity is for the news.

So, the symphony of the night-chirpers awakened my sense of wonder in that moment when I camped in Arcosanti almost 10 years ago. I have learned that the experience of wonder brings one into the present, and being in the present brings joy and stillness to ones life. It is the wonder that I will write about. I will write from my perspective as a sensitive, wounded healer. Wonderful writing, not negative news. This is the new focus.

Zero Waste and the Common Cold

I tend toward illness twice per year, when the weather changes from cold to hot in the Spring, and from hot to cold in the late Fall. This isn't a consistent pattern, I have skipped through a whole year or so without getting sick, but I definitely get at least one minor cold every year.

This year, my partner and I are experimenting with finding our pace with zero waste lifestyle. We're already hippy enough to be doing a lot toward that end, but we decided to step up our game and be more mindful about the waste we are generating.

In years past, when I had a cold I would run to the pharmacy and pick up a bunch of cold medication for relief. Not only have studies shown that these over the counter medicines don't do much for colds, but they are very wasteful. Tons of non-recyclable packaging goes into these products. I think their main point is to make you sleepy enough that all you want to do is nap! Which is a great practice for sick days, but there are better ways to handle it that don't tax your body as heavily.

I've had my little change-of-seasons cold for the last few days and it is transitioning out of my system faster than normal. I've been doing a LOT of things differently this time around, and I think the change has helped. So, I will share with you what I've been doing.

Here's how the cold cycle usually goes for me with OTC's:

Day 1 - itchy nose and throat

Day 2 - post nasal drip, clearing throat a lot, sneezing

Day 3 - nasal congestion, ears congested, and sore throat on one side

Day 4 - same, but on the other side

Day 5 - nose runs like a faucet, sneezing, throat pain is killer, coughing begins

Day 6 - nose clears up, but ears still congested, cough is worse, lung congestion

Day 7 - coughing up a storm!

Day 8-14 - recovery, all symptoms slowly disappear

That's a long time to wait for a cold to go away.

For this cold, I decided to avoid OTC's entirely. I went with completely zero waste solutions instead. Disclaimer: THERE IS NO ONE REMEDY THAT WORKS TO ALLEVIATE ALL OF YOUR SYMPTOMS ON ITS OWN. The strategy I employed this time was to attack the cold from every angle I could think of, relentlessly. I have been drinking 2 kinds of medicinal tea throughout the day (which I'll share later), I have been using one cloth hanky per day instead of tissues, I have been hydrating like it was summer in Tucson, I have taken daily baths, I have used a neti pot to irrigate my nose 2-4 times daily, I gargled with salt water, I ate nothing but nutrient rich food, I used copious amounts of vitamin C, I used raw honey instead of cough syrup, I have stayed off my feet as much as possible, and I practiced a whole day of silence to save my aching throat. I also used Chinese medicine for symptom relief in the form of tea pills and acupuncture. As you can see, I've been doing lots of things, and the combination of all of these things has sped up the cycle of this cold significantly. This cold is on its way out already, and it's only been 4 days! I anticipate being fully recovered by the end of the weekend. Which is good, because I have finals coming up.

Here's the breakdown for this run:

Day 1 - itchy nose and throat (treated with teas, vitamin C, and slippery elm lozenges)

Day 2 - post nasal drip, clearing throat a lot (neti pot & gargle, tea, lozenges, honey, rest)

Day 3 - nasal congestion and sore throat, cough begins (neti pot & gargle, tea, lozenges, honey, acupuncture, tea pills, rest, silence)

Day 4 - nose clears up (woah!), throat clears up (woah!), ears clear up (woah!), coughing is minimal and clearing (WOAH!) (tea, lozenges, honey, tea pills, neti pot & gargle, rest, partial silence)

So let's break it down a little further. 

Every day, I've been eating nutrient rich food, cutting down on sugar and junk. I've been resting as much as possible, I took baths to clean myself and relieve tension, and I've been hydrating my body. When you're sick, your body is trying to cleanse itself of the microbes or toxins that are causing the illness. Hydration, rest, and flooding the body with nutrients is the best way to help that process along. FYI, I used a home spun saline solution for the neti pot and gargle. This is 1/8 tsp. salt to 8oz. of water. And for the neti pot, only mix this solution with boiling water in the neti pot itself (this kills dangerous water-born microbes, no really, they can kill you). The following is the daily breakdown of the other remedies I used.

On Day 1, I drank 2 kinds of tea (recipes below), one for my symptoms and one for my immune system. I used 4,000mg of vitamin C; 1,000mg with each meal, 500mg upon waking, and going to sleep. I also used Thayers Slippery Elm Lozenges as needed throughout the day. I made sure I ate well, and rested a lot. 

Day 2, I began using my neti pot to irrigate my nasal passages and wash out any bacteria that might be hiding out there. Neti pots have been a game changer for me over the last year, they really do a lot to clear up nasal congestion, sneezing, and post nasal drip. When my throat started hurting, I gargled salt water to ease the pain, swallowed 1tsp. of raw honey to soothe it further, and used the slippery elm lozenges whenever I needed them. 

Day 3, I added silence to my treatment. I didn't talk for 12 hours. That helped the pain in my throat a ton, and kept me from coughing. That afternoon, I went and got acupuncture for my tendonitis (something I've been doing for months) and to relieve the cold symptoms. I also started using Jade Dragon Advanced Cold tea pills. These pills are a Chinese medicine formula called Yin Qiao Jie Du Wan, and they are to be taken when the cold has "advanced" into the lungs, resulting in a dry cough (symptoms are Wind/Heat).

Now, hang on just a minute... How is taking pills from plastic bottles zero waste, you say? Well, it isn't. There is a foil/plastic seal and a desiccant packet in each bottle that gets thrown away, but the bottle and lid can be recycled. Sidenote, I use the cotton stuffed in the bottles for fire starters when I'm camping.

Day 4, which is today, I'm continuing everything from the day before. I am speaking today, but being very mindful of when and why, and what I choose to say. My recovery has blown me away. I wasn't prepared to feel this good today! So, I'm basically going to continue doing what I've been doing until all traces of my symptoms are gone. Hopefully it takes less time than the other method does. It has already proven to be superior with how well it has dealt with my symptoms.

My conclusion is that practicing radical self-care when you are feeling under the weather is the key to a fast recovery. If everyone took the time off work to care for themselves when they were sick, they would be sick less and for less time. And wouldn't that be nice!

Now, as promised, here are the herbal tea blends I used to treat my symptoms. Your local herb store should have all the dry herbs in stock, hopefully in bulk.

Symptom Soothe Tea

1 part Mullein

1 part Tulsi

1 part Shredded Licorice Root

1 tsp. Honey (raw preferred)

Use 2 tsp. of tea mixture in a strainer, and steep in boiled water for at least 10 minutes in a tea cup for full potency. Take this throughout the day (at least 4 cups).

Ginger Burner Tea

Disclaimer: This tea is VERY SPICEY.

1-1.5 inches fresh ginger root, sliced thin

1 lemon

1 Tbsp. Honey (raw preferred)

Slice 1-1.5 inches of fresh ginger root thinly. Put 4 cups of water into a small pot, add the ginger, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and let simmer (just under boiling) for 30-45 min. If you have to add water to keep it simmering, that's okay! Reduce the mixture until you have 2 cups of liquid left. Strain out the ginger, add lemon juice and honey. Drink 1 cup now, and 1 cup later! Up to 4 cups per day. Want to boost this tea? Add 1 inch fresh turmeric root for pain relief or a pinch of cayenne for extra BURN (just kidding, it's an expectorant).

Country Mouse

I have learned ONE thing for certain from this urban living experiment I started 4.5 years ago.

I am a "country mouse".

So, here's a list of conclusions from this experiment:

• Cities Stink - No literally, they smell like shit. Literally. You've got hundreds of thousands of people stacked on top of each other, surrounded by concrete, which takes on the smell of whatever is dumped on top of it. So, when I walk around, I smell oil, gasoline, piss, shit, garbage, and, if it's around "mealtime" or restaurants, I smell food in addition. It only starts to smell like landscaping and cut grass once you get out into the suburbs or into a massive park (if you're lucky enough to have one nearby). But that's not the city, that's the suburbs.
• Cities Are Covered in Garbage - This is a two way street. Again, population density makes for a LOT of trash. The rule is, if it's usable trash, put it out on the curb or by the dumpsters to let your neighbors or homeless have dibs. The trash in big cities is incredible! I have found tons of beautiful clothes, expensive appliances, leather shoes, unsoiled furniture, food (no kidding, and I didn't even have to dive for it), and plenty of other things. I have a new mantra, "The Hood Provides". If you wait long enough, it will show up on a curb somewhere, waiting for you to come pick it up. But I said this is a two way street. For all it's throw-away abundance, there is a lot of stinky, putrid garbage around. Bags of dog shit, ton upon ton of plastic, rotting food and who knows what, decomposing paper and clothing, yard waste... You name it, it's getting dumped in West Oakland, up the street from my house.
• Cities Are Full of Crazies - The pace here sets people up for a lot stress. Rent is high, work is fast and furious, everything is expensive, and, again, people are stacked on top of each other. Which leads to overcrowding, and more stress. There are tons of goods and services available to destress, for those with enough expendable income. Otherwise you're probably medicating your stress with food and drugs. And this is just the sane people. Let's not forget the growing homeless population, and the huge percentage of it that is comprised of addicts and the mentally ill. These are the people that the world tries to shove under the rug. I really feel for these people. There is probably nothing more terrifying than being homeless and in the middle of a panic attack and a psychotic episode while going through alcohol withdrawal. Think about it for a minute...
• Cities Have EVERYTHING - Anything you want, anything you want to do, anything you want to see, anything you want to be, any persona you want to have, it's all here! And then there's everything you never wanted ever and hate with every fiber of your being. That's here too. And so are the people that like it.
• Everything Changes Constantly - This I already knew, but it becomes even more pronounced in centers of culture and technology. And this, consequently, is the only conclusion that has done anything for my growth. It has caused me to be a little Buddhist about clinging to security. It has also showed me that no matter how drastically things in my life change, I am going to be okay. I can overcome just about anything.
• Money Rules In Cities - If you have it, you're a lot happier than if you don't. The list of reasons could fill volumes so I'll just stop now.
• I Need Nature To Stay Sane - The only way to gain a reprieve from the stress of urban living is to LEAVE. In nature, the pace is slower. Change happens slower. There is less to do. There are less people, less trash, and very few horrible smells. You can see what is happening miles away from you instead of only a few hundred feet away. You can see the sky. You feel small and alone in the best way possible. You can close your eyes and be surrounded by nothing but the sound of the wind.

So that's what I've learned so far.

Now, an update: I haven't made an entry here in a very, very long time. I've been living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I came here to be a graphic designer, and ended up developing chronic hand problems and working retail. I made it work, though. Now I'm back in school looking to get a degree in dietetics, a field that I've always been passionate about. I hope to leave the cesspool of urbanity behind in a year and a half or so. And it's about time. I'm pretty much over it. There is no way I could ever live in a place as populated as this one longterm. It was a relief to live in such a liberal and accepting place in the beginning, but the trade off isn't worth it to me. I crave solitude and a much slower pace.

So, right now, I'm back in school, living in Berkeley, engaged to the love of my life, and looking forward to the future! It's a good place to be.

So, I am totally a country mouse. City mice are totally weird. I hope that I can move back to a less populated area either during my next bout of school, or shortly after. We are considering the Southwest again because of the climate. I'd like to live close to my Mom too, and if we end up in Arizona again, I'll have peeps to reconnect with!

We have lofty dreams of an airstream, and then an earthship. Whatever we do, it's going to be epic. I'm going to try to start posting here again, but it will most likely be sporadic at best. So, stay tuned if you dare.

Adult Decisions

This last 12 months has been full of adult decisions. Not fun adult decisions, not sexy adult decisions, but difficult adult decisions. I am satisfied with the decisions I've made, and I am satisfied that they have put me in a good place in life. I just wish that I was having more fun making them, and that the results were less mundane.

My decision to come to California was a good one. If I could go back, I would change how and when I did it, but it has turned out alright in the end. Finding a job was hard, but waiting for the right one turned out to be the best choice I could have made.

Speaking of jobs, I now work at Happy High Herbs! It's an herb shop that sells herbs to make you happy, healthy, and horny! That's actually in the orientation book, I think I'm among friends there. ; ) Everyone I work with is super nice. And this job has opened my eyes to a huge new world of knowledge and experience. I've finally found a treatment for my cramps that works, I've found effective treatment for my depression and anxiety, and I've even found some herbs that make me feel super "well"! The greatest thing about this job is that I get to help people. I get to introduce people to a wonderful new world of plant healing. It's wonderful!

I've been making some great new friends in the past few months and I'm very happy with how things have been expanding for me socially.

Finances are finally starting to even out, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Nearly there. I'll finally feel secure in September when Academy of Arts University schedules me in officially for modeling. Then I can get rid of my debt. Once that's gone, life will be awesome!

So yay being an adult and making shit work for me!

Now if only making shit work for me was as fun as all that. It is satisfying, but in a different way than doing my own thing with little regard for the consequences is satisfying. I liked the other pathway better, but this one is more sustainable in the longterm.

I'm almost 31. Weird. My Saturn Return is over, and I'm at the beginning of the next phase of my life. I like were it's going so far.

On the art front, I hope to get lots done before September. By then, I'd really like to have enough material to have a show somewhere. Here's hoping! It's taking lots of time. But there's a very good reason for that. I have chosen to develop a style, finally, at long last. While all my classmates were busy doing that in college, I was busy playing catch-up with color and design. So I never took the time to figure out how I really operate artistically. Now, I'm doing the work. Figuring it out, throwing all of my instruction out the window to reinvent my artistic self. It feels so good! And I love that I have taken a chance to tie it back to the sacred.

Everything in my life seems to be waking up that way. It feels really good. I feel like I've been missing out on a lot by not paying attention to the world through that lens.

So being an adult isn't so bad after all. Here's hoping I'll figure out a way to make it stellar before time marches too far past me. : )

Mythogenesis

I have embarked on what might be the biggest art project I've ever done in my life. The series will be called Mythogenesis. Here's the pitch.

I'm creating new mythology! Meet your new gods.

I have embarked on a grand project that I have been toying with since before I attended art school at the UofA. I have done a lot of work in the realm of comparative religions independently for most of my life. My fascination with ancient pantheons began in 6th grade when I first learned about the gods and goddesses of ancient Egypt and Greece. I devoured books on mythology, learning symbolic alphabets of iconography. As I grew up, I learned about even more pantheons, Norse, Celtic, Hindu, Arabic, Roman, and many more. I learned about Catholic saints, Kachina spirits, Orishas, animal spirits and myriad more fantastic creatures that inhabit our invisible, spiritual world. And the most fascinating things lie in the parallels between these spirits, and ultimately, that they come from the same place and are, in fact, the same spirit.

"Mythogenesis" will be a series of illustrations and later paintings that bring similar spirits back together, using all of the iconographies of each parallel spirit to create a composite image that reflects the dominant aspect of the deity. The title of each piece will be the name of the new God(dess) depicted, and the final piece will be done in the style of medieval sacred icons. The final paintings will be done in oil paint and gold leaf on panel. I'm attempting not only to create new myths, but pay tribute to the new spirits that these myths give rise to. I am drawing inspiration from ancient religious art, relief sculpture and statues, Russian icons, modern cartoons, pop culture and a host of modern artists and illustrators.

By fusing similar deities back together, I hope to impress upon the viewer that all of them are one. All of the thunder gods are thunder gods at the end of the day, be they Norse or Native American. No one religion is correct, but all draw upon the same wonder and awe, and the same spirit is present in each of them.

Here's what I've worked on so far.

Savior:

Chrysalis:

I'm hoping to develop a stylistic language that can give new life to philosophical concepts and characters alike. Savior is a conglomeration of the mythical Saviors of Mankind from 5 ancient cultures, and Chrysalis is my commentary on sacred metamorphosis.

My room mate told me to do what I can right now. And the way I interpreted it isn't just to keep plodding along, but to do what you can RIGHT NOW. I can't worry about the huge finished product yet, it's way far off! I have experiments and small pieces to do before I sit down and begin work the huge finished products. So, baby steps. First Chrysalis to test out the gold leafing process, then some other experiments to work out paint and techniques and progression. After all of that, I'll start on Savior. And when Savior is done, I'll begin work on the other 7 pieces to go with it.

The broader scope of this project includes many tribute pieces to spirits, deities and sacred concepts. I plan to do multiple versions of the same image that focus on different aspects of the same deity and all kinds of fun stuff.

Super excited and super inspired. The frankincense helps. ; )

Productivity Is A Four Letter Word

I've been thinking a lot about the notion of productivity.

When one thinks about productivity, one usually thinks about what one has done that day. How many chores we finished, errands we ran, projects we finished, the work that we did. Personal productivity is the motivation for many people to drag themselves out of bed in the morning and put on pants. This notion of having to do things in order to feel good about oneself is very strange, don't you think? Simply being alive and breathing should suffice to satisfy our ego enough. So where does this come from? Why must I tally off each and every task completed and feel better about higher numbers?

So let's look at the history of "productivity" and see if we can unravel the conundrum of it's looming presence in our lives.

Productivity is an economic concept connecting the measurement of efficiency to production, relating the total input to the total output of a single unit. The term was coined in the early 19th century (1), during the escalation of the Industrial Revolution. A quick look at the history books will give you an idea of what was going on at the time. The world experienced a huge economic boom which, it could be argued, continues today. We have reached the peak moment in this event, however, and it is evident in all of our institutions that the Victorian ideals that drive our Industrialist philosophies are unsustainable and flawed.

Productivity has crept into the deepest recesses of the human psyche through the clever use of money and commodity. We are consumers, and the notion of economic productivity touches every facet of our lives. Even our expectation of ourselves as people.

Pseudonyms of productivity include, "abundance" (which relates to the creation of "starvation economies"), "fertility" and "potency" (relating subconsciously to gender politics), "richness" (relating to wealth, and wealth back to consumption; and also to quality of life). These words trigger different subconscious relationships to productivity in our brains.

Productivity as abundance means we will never have enough; we will work to earn and consume and hoard. We work to fuel the productivity loop. We create capital to gain capital. And if we find ourselves with more than we need, we hoard that capital in banks and garages and storage facilities. Or stocks and real-estate. If you are not productive in this way, you live a life plagued by unfulfilled needs. You are deprived, and poor, and lazy. Very negative things to be.

Productivity as "fertility" and "potency" feeds our instinctual need to create. One could argue that the drive to reproduce and gender politics are influenced by this subliminal aspect of productivity. If you are not fertile, you are sterile. If you are not potent, you are weak. For women, this means you cannot produce children, and for some women, it carries the ridiculous notion that you are "less of a woman". For men, it is an affront to their masculinity; we all know the toxic stigma that being "impotent" carries. I mean, you must be a sissy if you aren't sporting a raging boner at all times, ready to rock!

Productivity as "richness" is pretty obvious. If you aren't productive, you are a lazy, stinky bum who lives in a shopping cart in an alley and begs for change. For not contributing to the production/consumption loop, you are a burden on society. And no one wants that, right? (Except for those that choose it in the name of simplicity or adventure.)

Productivity is a positive word that people use to describe themselves. "I was super productive today!" "I had a very productive afternoon." "I was running around all day being productive!" These are all statements that make us feel very good about ourselves. This is productivity as progress, and this is where it gets complicated.

The notion of progress and the notion of productivity are married in their influence over our lives and culture. Lack of progress means you aren't "growing" or "allowing for positive change" or "developing". Further, and at it's root, it means you are lazy. And being lazy in this culture means that you aren't "producing" anything of "value".

Progress, value, and productivity are very toxic things in a starvation economy. They cause people to degrade things that have no monetary value, hold themselves to unrealistic expectations, devalue experience and the time it takes to gain it, develop toxic attitudes about taking time out for self exploration, attach deep meaning to material possessions and wealth, hoards of very negative things. And not meeting these unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves in the name of being productive makes us feel horrible about ourselves.

So what have we done? How did this abstract economic concept seep into every crack and crevice of our lives? I could rant about the unsustainability of the 1950's utopian concept of progress and the deep evils of capitalism, but you've no doubt heard about those elsewhere.

I propose something more... well... productive!

I propose that we unmask the concept of "productivity" for what it actually is. It is nothing. It is a rule we added to the game to complicate it for ourselves. Productivity is man made. Productivity is a restriction. Productivity is, above all, a stupid rule. I say we break the chains that bind us to ridiculous expectations and low self esteem. Dare to be unproductive! Deign to sit with yourself and do nothing but feel the sun and the breeze! Don't think about anything, don't move, don't listen to music, don't check your phone, just be here. Set a timer if you have to (I know it's lame, but it helps).

Be present, not productive. Celebrate the little victories like putting on pants and feeding yourself. If you are warm, comfortable and fed at the end of the day, I'd say you were pretty productive! Don't get mad at yourself for taking a day off to think, or heal, or sleep. Do what you have to do! If it conflicts with your productivity, you are being too productive, and you are not being present.

I know it's hard. Doing nothing and being present may lead to enlightenment (or a general feeling of wellbeing) but it is much harder and less immediately satisfying than being "productive". Being present takes time. It takes time to learn how to do it, and one needs to make the time to do it. Because it takes time, the rewards, though greater, take time to manifest and appreciate, but they are worth the wait. (I hate the word "manifest", it's overused but it's the best I've got at the present moment.) Let go of your attachment to productivity and begin living up to your own expectations. And then let go of those expectations and really find bliss.

Do what you have to do, don't put productivity above yourself. I wish there was a word other than productivity that encapsulated the concepts of "do what you have to do" and "be true to yourself first". Silly English, you don't have the right words. Productivity is a 4 letter word, and that word is "work". Work is no fun. "Play" and "live" are much more fun! Feeling good in your mind and body is a lot more fun. That's not to say that you shouldn't take care of yourself, but "doing what you have to do" and "work" aren't necessarily synonymous. There is work in doing what you have to do, but do just that. Just do what you have to do, don't get hung up on all the extra side-quests.

The game doesn't have to suck, because we can pick the rules we want to play with. I'm leaving productivity, in it's negative sense, to people that like complicating things. I'm much too busy playing my mo'betta game over here. Not only that, but I demand to play my own game. It is my choice. Don't diss me because my game is easier and more fun than yours. That's your problem. No fair trying to make me feel bad about my awesomeness.

Try it. That's the main message here. Try doing what you have to do instead of what productive industrialists tell you you "could" or "should" be doing. "Could" doesn't mean "should", and "should" doesn't mean "must". There are 3 words for a good reason. Try it. And make sure you fit in things that you "like" and "want" to do too. : )

Lost in Translation

I've always known that I am very eloquent when I write. Even more so than when I speak. I'm good at converting my thoughts and feelings into words, and I try to do it as often as possible.

As far as serious conversations go, however, I really suck at communicating sometimes. I always think of how better to phrase whatever I was talking about an hour or two after it happens. Kind of like how you always think of a better come-back to an insult after you walk away from it.

I have gotten better about speaking my mind through the practice of "blurting", which is just saying what is really on my mind in tense situations in an effort to get everything out on the table. It is a wonderful practice. And it has served me well recently, but it doesn't work in every situation.

In sensitive, serious conversations, where nerves are frayed and feelings may be hurt, blurting can only serve to aggravate the situation. So what is one to do? If I am made to participate in conversations like this, my blood runs cold, I start to shake like I was in a high school trumpet audition, and my emotions go positively haywire from the pressure. I used to be able to mask these reactions, but not anymore. Now things get lost in translation between my brain and my mouth. However, there are solutions to this problem.

Being an introvert means that confrontations are hard. They're hard to navigate and drain us quickly. And then we need time to digest the situation and recharge, which is nearly impossible in most situations. In these cases, writing is the answer.

When I write, I get to think about what I want to say, say it in the most eloquent and precise way I can conjure, and I have time to put my thoughts together to convey the meaning that I want them to. When I'm rushed, precision and true meaning are the first things to flee from my language, leaving me, mostly, at a complete loss for words. Which doesn't fly in serious conversations and leaves the other participant flustered and frustrated. But if you give me time to think about it and compose a paragraph or two, everything is made clear again.

This written approach is by it's very nature proactive, which is unfortunate. Reactionary writing does nothing to assuage the feelings of the person you are reacting to (who is often very emotional by the time the conversation jolts to an abrupt beginning). But in the end, it results in less hurt feelings and better understanding from both parties. I've heard the argument that text can be cold and unemotional and lead to all kinds of miscommunications, but I actually believe that it is easier to say what is on your mind when you sit down and actually think about it long enough to put it into words. I like writing poetry for this reason. Because then I have to really think deeply about what it is I want to say and how.

I hope that I'll find a place in my life that will be more open to this kind of communication someday. Until then, more journaling and more poetry. And if you receive a serious letter from me, don't be offended, take it as a compliment. It means that I care enough about you to tell you how I really feel.

New Years Dreams

An overview.

New Years: I dreamt I was covertly covering for a handyman in my apartment complex that never fixed anything due to addiction and depression. I would steal his tools, fix stuff, and replace the tools when I was done. In order to do this, I needed to learn how to pick the locks into some of the other apartments, because the handyman kept all the keys. At the end of the dream, I was in the roofless tool room and I had found 2 practice locks (you could see all the parts of the cylinder) and a set of really good picks. Then I woke up.

Interpretation: I have the tools, now all I need is to learn and practice how to use them.

Jan. 4: Woke up at Grams' house in my dreamscape (which is a fascinating place in my mindmap). I was just staying 1 day there while traveling on to somewhere else. My mother and my sister walked into the room looking serious and looked at me. They nodded and said, "We have to do it." My sister said it after my Mom said it as if to affirm that my Mom was right. I looked at them and said, "Do what?" They looked at me with raised eyebrows and my Mom said, "What do you mean what? Haven't you ever seen your Dad do this before?" I said, "Do what?" My Mom and my sister exchanged a knowing look and said, "Ooooh, you don't know then..." And I was still confused when they walked out of the room. I went to follow them, but I woke up.

Interpretation: This is all very Freudian and trinity oriented. Sister, Mom, Grams = Maiden, Mother, Crone. I'm my conscious self, my father is my subconscious self where I know everything already. So essentially, I have the tools, now all I need to do is remember how to use them.

Jan. 6: I was somewhere in Claremont (dreamscape LA again). I was sitting with my cousin Marc and his fictional little brother. We were talking about drugs, Marc was pretty blasé about the whole thing but his little brother just really wanted to smoke pot with me. He took out a duffle bag of implements that we could use to smoke with. I zipped up the bag and put it back under the bench he had taken it out from under and basically told him that yeah, it's fun and all, but there's a time and a place for that, and now isn't the time. Then I woke up.

Interpretation: I have the tools, now all I need is to learn when they appropriate to use.

So I guess the overlying theme of my dreams lately has been pretty concrete. I have the tools, I just don't know exactly what to do with them. This actually makes me feel pretty optimistic! It means that I'm the captain, essentially. I'm driving this bitch, I just need to shut up and drive!

"But you are a flier, not a faller."

Ducky: Who are you? Huh? 
Petrie: M-my name Petrie. 
Ducky: Petrie, huh? Funny name. 
Petrie: Uh, I...I flied? 
Ducky: No. You falled. 
Petrie: I falled? Ohh! (crying) 
Ducky: You cannot fly? How did you get up there? 
Petrie: I climb. 
Littlefoot: But you're a flier, not a faller. 
Petrie: Hard thing to fly.

-- The Land Before Time

I've been resisting making any kind of commitments for the coming year. No resolutions, no goals, nothing. This, however, is an avoidance behavior that needs exploring. I've noticed that whenever I have a knee jerk negative response to something and really dig my hooves into the ground to resist, it means that I need to read into it more. That's not to say that I need to take back everything I've ever said no to and give it another chance, just that I need to watch out for those responses. There's a pattern. I see the pattern. Now I can break the pattern.

I have been resistant to New Years resolutions because I have been feeling the effects of prolonged feelings of inadequacy. Why make a resolution to do more yoga when my body hurts most of the time? Why make a resolution to change my diet if I'm too poor to afford the food I'd rather be eating? Why explore artistically if I'm jobless? This is the wrong attitude.

It appears that I have created several of my own road blocks. My priorities are all messed up. I now know what is really important, but I haven't taken the plunge and promoted the important things to the top of my priority list yet.

The Bay Area is so different. It seems that my polar, linear mode of classification is of absolutely ZERO use to me here. This is a bad example, but there is no "gay" or "straight" here. It is so much bigger than that. Every single degree of difference between those two things, and around them, is present here in all of it's diversity. Not only that, but for every degree of difference, there is an entire group of people that embody it. There aren't just friends or lovers here, there is all the in between! There are platonic lovers and romantic friendships, and platonic friendships and romantic lovers, and loving friendships and platonic romances... The list is diverse and complicated, and this diversity applies to EVERYTHING.

Everything here is beyond my parameters of classification. And because of that, I'm stuck. I've rooted myself for stability in a narrow channel of questionably bad habits that I have been meaning to break. Habits that I am now clinging to in the name of familiarity as a flood of newness threatens to whisk me away to parts unknown. Why break bad habits when they give me comfort? Why reject them when they make me feel sane and safe? The new question is "why not"? And I have no answers.

I need to accept that there are more people, cultures, definitions, vocabularies, symbols and classifications in my life here than I can ever hope to identify and attach meaning to. This is unnerving to me. I guess my challenge this year is one of letting go. I need to cut the anchors holding me back in order to really soar. Soaring is scary because I could fall. But the focus should be the soaring, not the potential falling, crashing, and recovering.

So my new years resolution is to be present, avoid classification, take care of myself first, kick ass, and learn to fly. My focus is to accept things for what they are, not what they could be or what I think they should be. The challenge is to not get bogged down by the obstacles that present themselves along my path, but to forge a new path around them if necessary. And above all, I need to let go. Stop clinging to the familiar and "safe" knowns in my life as if they can help me, because they can't. I help me. I need not look outside myself and this present moment to find all of the answers, stability and comfort I require to be happy, healthy, and at a safe cruising altitude.

Pen Pals

I have a friend named Tom. He is my pen pal. We met a couple of years ago, and literally the next week, he was carted off to prison. Our mutual friends have kept contact with him and I made the decision to have correspondence with him while he serves out his sentence.

Prison is a horrible place. I've read quite a bit about it, and watched documentaries and the like. Seriously, it's probably one of the most soul-crushing institutions on the planet. You are forced onto a schedule, robbed of individualism and self-expression, stripped of personal possessions, made to eat sub-par food, sleep in discomfort, and plagued with torturous boredom. And while some much needed care, counseling and rehabilitation is available for prisoners, there is very little that is positive about the experience. Most of the time.

Tom's experience sounds surprisingly positive compared to all that I've read. He's lost weight, he is in therapy (and it's helping him tremendously), he has better nutrition, he is exercising, and he's dry. In his letters he describes a tragically boring day and a very regular schedule, but he has managed to stay positive and deal well with his sentence.

I write to him because I have learned how lonely incarceration can be. If there is one thing I took away from all my reading it's that letters from outside can be a tremendous help to the prisoner. Letters help to focus prisoners on something outside the walls and keep them from getting bogged down by the loneliness and monotony of their incarceration.

The cruelty of incarceration really struck a chord with me. After my research, I wanted to reach out and help someone, but the thought of sending letters to a complete stranger was slightly unnerving to me. Then I thought of Tom, a man I barely knew, and with whom I have many mutual friends. I asked them about him when they'd receive letters about how he was doing and got fairly regular reports on his status. Finally, I decided I would just start asking him myself! I got his address from friends and sent him a letter.

He was very happy to receive it and we've been corresponding since October! It's been great to get to know him through his letters, and I'm very happy to know that he enjoys talking to me too.

I guess the point of this post is to encourage anyone reading it to have compassion for those we have locked away in prisons. And also to encourage writing to those people during their stay there. Your letters will be a great source of relief for them.

We punish criminals because what they do makes us angry. So angry that we take everything away from them and keep them in a pen under the watchful eyes of authoritarian men and women with guns. Victims of crime usually push for the longest sentence possible as a means of assuaging their anger toward the person who wronged them. And they are completely justified in doing so. Far be it from me to condemn the anger of any victim of crime. But I have known prisoners, and I know the hardships of being locked up.

Tom isn't the first prisoner I've known. I knew another guy, Dan, who had a horrible time in jail. He received no help for his emotional problems and minimal rehabilitation. He took his own life a couple of years after his release. His punishment turned out to be death, and all he did was steal a car and a credit card and go on an underaged binge.

I firmly believe that people need to be treated with compassion. No matter how angry they make us, we need to treat people fairly. Volatile behavior is a symptom of a bigger problem. Crime is a symptom of a broken legal/political system, and people moved to crime have very real reasons for committing them. Just as it is right for the victim to be angry, it is right for the criminal to be met with compassion.

So many crimes are the result of people being unable to care for themselves. We punish the poor, the homeless, the hungry, the mentally ill, the sick, and the elderly for being victims of circumstance. We punish the violent because they hurt us and make us uncomfortable. And they are locked away because it is more convenient for us (as a culture) to let them rot in a cell than to actually take the steps needed to solve their problems. I'm not an idealist that believes that everyone can be rehabilitated, but I do believe that those who can't be rehabilitated are fewer in truth than statistics say.

I hope that humans as a civilization will find more effective ways to deal with criminals in the future. Ways that champion compassion and love instead of punishment and hate. And I hope my friend Tom comes out okay. And in the interim, I'll keep sending him letters.

Male Nesting

The phenomenon of male nesting is very interesting. Especially when you live with men who like changing rooms around every few months. I'm a little different, I tend to assess the situation for a long time, put stuff the way I like it, and keep it there. Forever. It's the Bull in me. But the boys have different tendencies. One, aquarius, likes to change EVERYTHING as often as it strikes him, maybe every 3 months. The other keeps changing things around as he obtains additional things to fill out his vision of what his room should be. They did that thing where you buy stuff around Christmas. What a concept... I am now in rooms with furnishings, lamps, rugs and other things that weren't there before. I too received a rug. It's purple and gold. Very awesome. : )

My room will be going through some major changes soon too. I'm getting a bed! Yes! A bed! At long last I will have a designated place to sleep, with a real mattress! I'll be glad to stop sleeping in my sleeping bag on my couch in my room. It was nice, but I'm over it. Now I can sleep in my room WITH other people! I don't have to choose between my cat and my bed buddies! Yay bed! It's another loft, I loved my last one. This one is from IKEA, I might end up bracketing it to the wall in case of earthquake. *cough*

Off To An Awesome Start!

So, I thought I wouldn't have much design to report until a couple weeks from now, but then I found THIS! Alt.kilt has made an awesome red kilt for Atlas the Mighty in Circus Bacchus with my logo on it! Best ever!

New Years has started out completely wrong in the diet department. However, having eaten nothing but junkfood all day, I am satisfied that all need for pizza and potato chips has left me. I look forward to all the pretty fruits in my fridge. I have 2 kinds of mangos, a prickly pear and 3 different kinds of apples and pears! Oh! And persimmons!

Sea of Dreams was tons of fun! I had a really great time. The venue was HUGE! I'd love to go to an event there again. Very well laid out and easy to navigate, with plenty of room. Room for 4 stages, 2 chill areas, a vendor village and galleries! They even had a few food trucks outside. Once again, Mexican food saved my life. And there was literally a bar in every area to keep you from getting thirsty.

It was my 4th time seeing Gogol Bordello live and they were hugely impressive as always. If you have never seen them live, do it. They put on one of the best, most energetic shows I have ever seen. They are consistently awesome.

Shpongle was Shpongle, always a joy. I had seen that particular set before and it was pretty cool. They did the Quixotic Masquerade show this time. It has just been too hard to gain enough room to really dance at all of their shows! Tragic, but I continue to dream of larger dance floors!

And then there was The Glitch Mob. Sorry everyone, but I have rarely been so underwhelmed. I really appreciate their energy and their showmanship was awesome! It's just that I really hated their music. It was terrible. The sound was abrasive, too much contrast between the trebles and the bass, and absolutely nothing in the middle to connect them. It sounded like they should have been making beats for hip-hop, not putting on their own act. But I digress, I'm an electronica snob, so please feel free to judge for yourself. I see potential here, the reggae style beats and some of the rhythmic structure was good, but the musicality was under par. Feel free to have a look at them though, great performers.

Trentemoler was pretty cool, but I was too busy watching another DJ to pay him much attention. All the headliners were great, but the highlight of my night was Dex Stakker, who was spinning some sick, dirty breakbeat trance until midnight. He even shared my distain for 2012 declaring, "Fuck 2012!" as midnight approached. Made my night. : ) He rocked my whole world for a good 90 minutes. So awesome! I waited until the end of his set and told him how impressed I was and he gave me a CD of his vocal mix (and it ROCKS). Totally want to see more of him this year.

Also, there was a gallery of artworks, a display of different kinds of kinetic/interactive installations involving lots of lights and projectors, and live artists working on paintings! One had a figure model sign-up sheet. Hopefully I'll be hearing back. : )

Also, I have to mention the awesome circus performance by CirQularius and the fabulous samba interludes by Samba Drop. Great fun and great acts!

Last night, I had a dream that I was living in an apartment complex that might have been Arcosanti in my dreamscape. The handyman was completely unreliable due to alcohol addiction and I covertly stole his tools to do the work myself, replacing them when I had finished. I also needed to pick locks to get some of the work done and I remember gaining some practice locks and some picks to play with before I woke up. Interesting insights for a new year. Apparently I have all the tools, I just need to figure out how to use them. Sounds about right.

Goodbye 2012

2012 was full of self realization, transformation, and the start of a deep and long overdue healing process.

Fuck 2012.

No. It wasn't fun. All that stuff sounds really positive when it isn't happening to YOU. "How lovely!", you might think. "You must feel so light and free!", you conclude.  "How wonderful it must be to go through such a process of rebirth!", you surmise.

Not in the slightest.

Healing processes are painful and time consuming, once the real healing begins. The wounds itch and twinge, invoking the memories of their infliction and depth. You remember the pain, the shock, the panic, how you bled. Proverbially, of course dear reader, have no fear.

So, fuck you 2012. I'm not sorry to see you go. You told me everything I didn't want to hear, and made it so I can't forget any of it anymore. Stripped me of my defense mechanisms so I could begin the real work of healing. Fuck. You. I cannot thank you enough, you've given me the greatest gift. And I hope 2013 will be a shot of morphine to counter the roaring of a system spurred into action after the shock of injury.

2012 redefined the notion of "tough love" the way my car accident in 2010 redefined the word "impact". And it was about as much fun. 2012, you will always hold a special place in my heart, and if I ever see your like again, it will be too soon. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

And now, on to much bigger and better things! Plans for the evening:

Also, I've decided to forgo big new years resolutions this year in favor of just improving everything by 1 degree, a little at a time. I will celebrate the little victories and leave the lofty goals for those full enough of hot air to reach them. out Out OUT!

Stuff I Like

I like good food.
I like bending rules.
I like waking up laughing.
I like my cat.
I like all cats.
I like running my fingers over super soft things.
I like hot showers.
I like space foam mattress covers.
I like the colored glass.
I like smelling things. Everything.
I like goat cheese.
I like using music to explore my emotions.
I like tragically beautiful artwork.
I like minor keys.
I like feeling overcome with emotion.
I like touching your face.
I like dancing until I can't stand up anymore.
I like long walks.
I like getting lost in the woods.
I like listening to the crickets at night.
I like fire.
I like cuddling.
I like climbing trees.
I like feeling prepared.
I like being on time.
I like making music.
I like orange, blue and grey together.
I like black, grey and maroon together.
I like light grey, dark purple and olive drab together.
I like exhaustive sex.
I like the forests in Oregon.
I like Autumn.
I like having 4 distinct seasons.
I like sitting in the sun.
I like chocolate and tea.
I like yoga.
I like feeling the presence of things I can't see.
I like being alone.
I like feeling at one with the universe.
I like poetry.
I like stingy, not thuddy.
I like trying new things.
I like the wind.
I like the big slide at the county fair.
I like plants.
I like growing things.
I like cartoons.
I like making things with my hands.
I like doing things myself.
I like making people smile.
I like seeing things that you don't show everybody, like that look on your face after you tell me something personal.
I like being praised for my brilliance.
I like improving my skills.
I like being healthy.
I like sunsets.

The subject is illusive...

I'm not sure what I'm doing on this blog, but I feel like my best writing happens when I'm thinking about positive things. It's hard to do. There is a lot going on that is NOT right in myself, and even more that is NOT right in the world. It's easy to get bogged down by all that is wrong with the world. But there are news websites to indulge that, let's try to find something positive in this stormy sea of house fires, school shootings, fraud, robberies and rampant destructive capitalism...

Here's something.

I almost cried during Christmas dinner. But it's not what you think! I consider myself to be blessed in a way. (All positive blogs should start this way.) I have a great family. My family is my lighthouse in dark times. I know if I ever falter, my family will be there to right me. If I fall, they'll catch me. If I fail, they'll be there to support me. Good times and bad times, my family has been there to sustain me. I am lucky.

Most Xmases, I get together with my family. We open presents, have dinner, share stories, just be together. It's nice. We don't fight, we have very little drama, and the drama that presents itself usually happens when I am far away and the holidays are over. That whole scene where the entire family has a meltdown during Christmas dinner and angry members storm out into the snow in a huff is fiction for me. No one slams down their silverware in the middle of turkey and yells, no one gets cornered in the kitchen and lectured, no one is made to cry over their eggnog, none of that.

My holidays are filled with kind words and love. Like I said, I'm lucky.

I'm lucky because I have a support system as long as I have ties to my kin. My family is always there when I'm having a hard time. If I need help, they're there to assist me. If I need to talk, they're there to listen. If I'm confused, they're there to help me make sense of it all. If I'm sad, they cheer me up. If I'm angry, they calm me down.

That's not to say we don't have our differences by any means. I'm very different than most of the members of my family. I'm not a christian, I'm not a republican, I'm not straight, I'm not monogamous, and I'm not "Lawful-Good" by any stretch of the imagination. "But where there's love, dear, those are the ties that bind." And that's really the point of it all. I know that whatever happens, there will always be love. And that's a good thing to know.

The wrong things WERE important...

And now it's nearly a year later.

I've always been a terrible blogger, but if you read this, you know that already.

So, what's changed...

I ended up in San Francisco. I'm living with the first boyfriend I've had since High School and another guy who's turned out to be an awesome friend. I have 2 other women I'm dating as well. I had a job at Minted as a Print Quality Specialist. But it was only a seasonal contract. I'm unemployed and trying to hang onto my sanity while looking for work and not being able to do much else due to financial constraints.

That's the abridged version of the story.

This blog is going to be taking a new direction. I'm not sure where yet.

There is so much going on in my life that has absolutely nothing to do with art or design that I think this blog will have to be... Just more.

I tried really hard to keep this blog professional, but I think the time for that is over. What good is a symphony if it's only made of violins?

So on to the wonderful timbre of the other myriad instruments.

Stay tuned.

The wrong things are important.

I've been feeling artistically stifled lately. And a friend on Facebook made a comment, after I listed a bunch of important things I had to do instead of paint, that maybe the wrong things are important. He was right. And those things didn't even make it on the list.

I hate to admit it. I've had a ton of fun being a circus freak and redefining myself as a musician, but the expense for this fun has quite literally been my artwork. There's just been too much going on. My time with Circus Bacchus is drawing to a close soon, I'll be calling it a done deal after this next show. I had tons of fun. But I really miss my babies (all the embryos). And I need to get back on the horse and paint some more.

Portland is looking like a real possibility for relocation, followed closely by San Francisco and trailed eminently by Tucson. We'll see how it goes! Whatever happens, by June I will be out of Flagstaff and on to bigger and better things.

So long, small town. It's been... something.

Things I've been thinking about...

I'm an American. As ashamed as I am of that fact sometimes, I don't know anything else. My art needs some direction, and I've been thinking I should stick with what I know. So here's some subjects I've been thinking about.

Dia de los Muertos - I've been conceptualizing a tribute project to all my dearly departed in which I will make a skull portrait of each loved one I have that has passed. And maybe make actual candy skulls to go along with them. Having lived in Tucson for 10 years, this small part of Mexican folk culture has lodged itself in my bones, and I think I would like to explore it further.

American Folklore - Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed, Pecos Bill, Davy Crocket, John Henry, Calamity Jane. Those are the mainstream ones. What others? Where are all the women? Who were they before they became the stuff of legend? Frontiersmen, Cowboys, Ranchers, Lumberjacks, Hobos, Railroaders, and stage coach drivers. Why the romance? What other romantic figures didn't make it into folklore (gangsters, militiamen, other rebels)? Are there any heros that chose harmony with nature instead of overcoming it? And what about our actual historical figures? George Washington didn't want to be president, Abe Lincoln didn't want to free the slaves, Martin Luther King Jr. didn't want to be used as an advocate for lower taxes for the rich... If we were still writing folklore, who would the modern characters be?

Embryos - I need to expand this concept into the political realm. And with all the stink being made about women's reproductive rights lately, that shouldn't be hard.

Immigrants - Unless you are a native American, you're essentially an immigrant. Doesn't matter how long you've been here. Or does it? How long does it take, how many generations, for a person's blood to be tied to the land they live in? Am I an immigrant? Immigrant spawn? Or am I too a native American. The short answer is no, but what is the long answer?

Little ramblings. I feel like I need to expand myself a little in the realm of creativity. I also feel like I need to attach more meaning to my art. What is my message? I'm not sure anymore. After 2 years as a designer, I feel like I'm working for/within a system that I fundamentally disagree with on multiple levels. How do I use my skills to raise my voice within that system? And what do I have to say?

4 4 U

Birth announcements. They chose the one on the right.

Business card designs for Matt Kesler. He chose the big one with a blank back. The ones in the middle are 1.5"x3.5". I like to call them "skinny" cards. And I'm in love with them. I wish more people would choose them.

Here are some awesome logos that I designed for a student (who failed to pay us).

Business card designs for Brandon Smith at North Peak Photography. He chose the big ones in the middle (front and back).

I think I've mentioned how much I LOVE designing business cards. And I do. Truely. They are wonderful puzzles to solve. And there are so many things you can do with them! Round corners, dye cuts, varying dimensions, different stock weights, coatings, paper colors, foil stamping... Oh my god. At any rate, this is still my favorite kind of design project. Followed closely by logo generation. : )

Here's a question. I have had some designs that I've done that have been redone by others after clients have failed to pay for their design work. The designs are different, but very closely similar to the originals that I was responsible for. I'm having trouble deciding how to feel about these people stealing my ideas and generating bastardized versions of them. Do I have cause to feel jilted? I don't even get paid for my designs (as they are included in the printing costs...) Does anyone have any opinions on the morality (or lack of it) in this situation? I'd love to hear them.

Weekend Update!

A calendar magnet for my Mom.

Business card designs for The Glazer Law Office. They ended up choosing the one on the left.

And an ad for Frank's Daily Bread Deli.

I had a money hemorrhage today. Glad it's out of my system. : )